For two years, I had been back and forth to doctors showing classic symptoms of colon cancer. Unfortunately, since I didn’t feel constantly tired, didn’t appear to be loosing weight the diagnosis was always irritable bowel. Since the cancer was in the segmented area this was being missed in the usual tests. Eventually my body was telling me all was not well. After 15 minutes in a specialist’s office on 22 may 1996 I realised my body was correct, a tumour could be felt. The next day a colonoscopy confirmed the diagnosis and in the afternoon the surgeon removed 20cm of colon. Since there was perineural invasion and metastatic carcinoma in two regional lymph nodes, adjuvant chemotherapy was required for the following six months. Just before any symptoms were noticed, my life was turned upside down with the sudden death of my father. My mother was not capable of coping by herself due to Alzheimer’s. I was coping with a death, placing my mother in a home and a gradual, bitter breakdown of relationships with a brother due to those circumstances. On top of this, my daughter was leaving home for her first year in boarding school. My body had been strained to its limits. Whilst in hospital recovering from the operation I had been given a book Love, medicine and miracles by Bernie Siegal. I knew then that to change the odds on my survival, I had to have some control over my mind. I was not aware of the speaker when I attended my first Cansurvive meeting. After completing six months of chemotherapy my body was definitely stronger but now it was time to strengthen my mind. A lady in white floated through the door. Her face was a picture of health, totally calm and peaceful. How could someone enter a room portraying such qualities from the hot, busy streets of Kowloon? This lady was coming to speak from the Raja Yoga Centre. Even the topic seemed chosen just for me. The chosen topic was on forgiveness. I was being told to have maturity and wisdom to understand. It was only then that I could forgive and forget. I was told to ask myself “should I forgive first or forget?” If I didn’t have the nature of forgetting then I could not forgive. I would keep remembering the same things over and over again. Keep asking, “why this thing happened” even thinking of revenge.

I was being told I needed to have control over my thoughts; I needed to love others and myself and draw this love from God. In between forgiving and forgetting I needed to have true love from the heart. The next day I rang to find out about Raja Yoga. The following Monday night, I took my first steps along a completely new path. Although at first I wasn’t able to accept all the information I was being given, gradually important points fell into place. I was being given knowledge which I could use any time, any place. Through a positive thinking course I could change negative thoughts into those that would benefit me. Instead of arriving stressed, I would arrive relaxed. This practice I found particularly useful whilst visiting the doctors and having follow-up tests. Through meditation I found I could achieve clarity of mind so I could more easily work out solutions to the problems. A confidence can be felt in knowing you have made the correct decision. This is not always an easy path. I am sure though that …you feel in control of your mind rather than your mind being in control of you. Your path is smoother, life is happier and so your body is healthier.”

By Janice

Filed under: Personal Stories

Like this post? Subscribe to my RSS feed and get loads more!