I could not remember as to whether I had prayed or thought about God when I was a little girl but when I was about eight years old, my search for God began. Being an Indian, I followed my elders to pray in the temples and also at home. Each time I prayed, there was always the question as to who are all those deities when there could only be One God in this entire world. Besides, I often had this vision of an old man in white (with beard as well) looking down at me from the sky. As I grew older and mature, I started seeing things, good and bad events as some kind of fruit or punishment respectively for whatever would have happened or done in the past. I did go through a lot of hard times with my family before starting to work, but there was always some divine protection that came by as help either through people or situations. There was always some good happenings in the midst of crisis. Of course, at the same time whenever I prayed, though standing in front of the deities, I use to call out, “God, I know that you are the only One who is the true God, wherever You are and whoever You are, …………( after that it was all begging and asking).
I did receive a lot of help and I had strong faith that it was this One God who was helping me. Now, whenever I sit back to think of how in my teens, I had gone  through lots of hardship without feeling much sorrow at those times, I realise that the strong faith and love I had for Him though not knowing His virtues and powers at that time, that unknown power to me at that time had actually been my Company and protection,  carrying me through my years. We are not suppose to think of our past but in my case, this flashback of past events has made me love God even more and my faith in Him is ever strong. God has always been with me. It is just that when I was searching for Him, He was with me but, in the form of my inner powers, strength and protection. After knowing Him, He is known to me as God.
Anonymous

Filed under: Personal Stories

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